Frustrated

I feel like I am trying so hard with my new job, I don't want to go to the meeting and have them bad mouth me. I can't lose this job if I do I will be having to move back to california and back to being loveless I don't know what I am going to do. I don't want the help from the same people who bad mouth me, they say that its not like everyone is going to be ganging up on me and I alreadyknow that's how it is going to feel I just wanna break down and cry